Coaching with Joshua - The Performance and The Performer

June 22, 2020

I'm heading out to the garage for my next coaching session with Joshua.

The week has gone fast. I have had some great sessions coaching clients.

The appreciation for my life is at a high point right now. 

The garden is blooming and the sun I shining today. It feels like an abundant flow of goodness radiating through me.

The old garage even seems to be a bit brighter today.

Joshua is standing on his stack of tires, moving to music. He seems to like rock 'n' roll.

When he sees me, the music stops, he takes off his earphones, and with as big a smile as a mouse could have, he gives me a high five.

"Howard, I have a question for you.

In your family growing up, what feelings were okay to express, and what feelings were not okay?"

"Gees, we're starting fast today.

Well, let me see what I remember.

We never got angry in our family. I never experienced yelling or harsh words between my parents.

My dad was kind of flat. I don't remember him being effusive with his words or actions. So I'd say things were pretty neutral.

I don't have any experience of there being highs or lows of feelings in the family.

Even when my mom was sick and in the hospital, my dad must have been very controlled.

My mother died when I was fourteen, and even then, I only had one conversation with dad about her. There were tears and some sadness. Yet, we seemed to move past it quickly and got on with life.

Mostly, my reflection, when I look back, is feeling shut down. 

Not much expression of feelings at all."

"That's a good awareness. 

What did you learn and take forward in your life from the family experiences?"

"Mmm, One thing I know I learned was that I didn't know the feeling of anger. 

As I think about it, I realize I also wasn't able to connect with my own emotions.

Over these past years, I have learned much better to express my anger and happiness.

So, what I've brought forward in my life have been times when I am not in touch with how I feel. That has left me, at times, disconnected from people and situations.

The impact is significant in my marriage. I now practice staying aware of my feelings. That helps me connect to myself and others around me."

"Excellent awareness, Howard. You are on the right track.

Every child takes in information from their environment. Then they connect up this information to mean something about who they are in the family and the world.

The conversion of what is happening around them has the child make up a story about who they are.

As they become older, there is no separation between their activities and who they are as human beings.

Every child born is perfect.

What gets distorted is the meaning they give to themselves from what they learn.

That hides their treasure. 

Their essence is put away without consciousness.

Then they spend a lifetime trying to perform in ways that please others.

Howard, I am helping you re-discover your treasure because there is so much gold in there.

Then your light will shine even more brightly in the world."

"I'm excited about this! Thanks.

I look forward to our next meeting."

Namaste