Coaching With Joshua - Circumstances Do Matter
"Joshua, do you remember telling me, circumstances do matter?
You said we are deeply affected by what happens in our lives because we have patterns of belief and behaviour that affect how we react to circumstances.
When we have what we consider a failure, we feel it deeply.
It is a reaction in our nervous system that has imprinted a long time ago the trauma of things not working out the way we imagined them.
Circumstances can take us down the path of depression, sadness, or joy, depending on how our bodies and minds evaluate what has happened.
You said what matters is my state of mind.
You also said my mind is a powerful instrument of life or death.
It is through our mind we thrive or shrivel up.
What then are we to do, and how are we to be with the results in our lives that don't match what we have imagined for years as being the beautiful outcome we were supposed to have in our lives?"
"Yes, Howard, I clearly remember having talked to you about the power of your mind.
Over many years you have developed patterns of living in a particular manner.
These patterns come with judgements, attitudes, and behaviours which you use automatically.
The design of your nervous system is to protect you as you encounter different people, places, and things.
Therefore the three responses from your nervous system are fight, flight, or freeze.
Many many years ago, as you know, your system was set up to keep you safe from predators.
Today, of course, you don't have tigers leaping out of the bush at you.
Your system operates as though that is what is happening.
I see many people today struggling with financial and relationship issues.
Their nervous system is automatically putting them into freeze or flight mode because the situation feels like danger.
The self-talk looks back in their history and says if only I had…..
The attempt at stress relief leads to an analysis of life conditions to see what they did wrong to get to where they are today.
Every circumstance you encounter in your life comes with feelings, pictures, and language based on your historical patterns.
Then you automatically react based on what comes up from your subconscious."
"How do I handle my life then when I feel depressed, afraid, or angry?
Sometimes, my self-talk is judgementally resentful for how I have led my life."
"These, Howard, are statements from the ego that are red herrings.
You feel the energy of these statements because they feel real to you.
The self-talk arises from your historical memory, which, for the most part, is inaccurate.
The circumstances of your life are what they are at this moment.
You have played your part well in how you have gotten to where you are today.
Your negative biased ego would have you look and generate a negative feeling rather than embracing the person you have become.
When presented with all the good you have done for yourself and the world, your ego highjacks your self-talk.
Your ego voice is loud. You have been listening to it for a long time.
The voice of your heart, however, is soft and quiet.
If you want a different result and a transformation in the way you live, you will need to learn to listen to your heart's softer voice."
The transformation of your life experience going forward is a process.
Let's start with a few simple steps:
Make an irrevocable choice: This is your point of power.
State intentions for your life. Be clear about what you intend for your relationships, career, health and well-being, and family and community. There is more to say about this aspect, but we will leave it there for now.
Start now, and during your day, pay attention to how you are feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally. When you know where you are, you are better equipped to take care of yourself.
These are some steps to get you started.
Remember to be conscious all day long of where you are and how you are.
We will talk more about this idea of transformation another time.
There is a lot to say about it.
Your life matters.
Namaste