Coaching with Joshua - Are you Gonna Hold Em or Fold Em?

Coaching with Joshua - Are You Gonna Hold 'Em or Fold Em?

Joshua loves to dance.

The music infuses him with joy and energy.

As I look out through the French doors, he's dancing on the table on the deck. It seems to be his favourite place at the moment.

He waves to me to come out and sit with him.

"Hey Howard, are you gonna hold em, or are you gonna fold em?" he asks.

"Joshua, what the heck are you asking me about?"

"It looks to me like you are holding on to old beliefs, feelings, and experiences you regret. You carry them around like you have them in a backpack.

I also see you have sadness over unfulfilled desires. 

There are things in your life you have wanted you have not gotten.

Life has not turned out the way you wanted it, notwithstanding the hard effort you have put into your plan.

I see this in lots of people. 

They carry around old habits, old relationships, and regrets about unfulfilled dreams.

It is a burden to carry this extra weight when our design is to live in the moment with free energy.

It leads to depression because the negative tapes play over and over again.

If only you would have acted differently, your internal voice says in a blaming voice.

How aware are you as to what you are saying to yourself?

When you are not aware of how you are talking to yourself, your past life becomes the active context today instead of the present moment.

So, Howard, what's in your backpack?

What's weighing you down, you no longer need?”

"As you know, I have a great purpose in bringing my work to the world.

I also have big dreams about my life and how I want to live it.

Now, you've got me thinking about holding on that you ask the question.

I hold on to the notion that I control how the outcome will look and what it will mean. 

My training is to plan, organize, and act going toward a goal.

I play out different scenarios to determine what my next step will be.

The idea of control is comforting to me."

"Okay, stop right there!

Get this straight. You have no control over the outcome.

Your job is to be present and take each step as it comes to you.

Set yourself free and let go of how the outcome will look and the timing of it.

Your question is, how can I be of service?

Howard, it's time to fold 'em on this idea you have control.

How does that feel?"

"Frankly, it feels crappy.

If I don't think I have control, I am lost."

"Great, accept the feeling of lost and live with it and take the next step.

Learn to live with the vast space you open up when you let go.

After a while, you will love the sense of freedom it brings.

Holding on to old habits, experiences, things, or people adds a huge burden.

Take the backpack off and live light.

You will fly.

I'll leave you with this idea about fold 'em.

Forgive yourself and anyone you are holding on to.

 Without forgiveness, you live with the burden of your past.”

"Joshua, I appreciate what you are saying, but how do I let go of something I want?'

"Great question, we'll talk about that the next time we meet."

Namaste
www.howardjparsons.com

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