One Step Forward - One Step back

It’s another beautiful summer morning.

The garden is lush and shining in the fresh morning air.

I’ve asked Joshua to come to talk with me.

I had tossed and turned most of the night with my ego-mind chattering non-stop. All my plans were reviewed, the assessment of my progress and the judgement none of it was enough. (An old judgement)

The feeling of falling back into old habits of negative thoughts and vision shutting down is familiar. Just when I’m making progress, my ego pops in to provide negative input. I feel it in my body, and I hear the critical self-talk.

 “Where is the abundance you have ordered from the universe?” Ego asks.

As I sit here by my garden door and smell the scent of the flowers, feel the positive vibration of our magnificent garden, there is an abundance of life flowing through me. It is as if I am in a different world. All is well in this world of mine.

“I heard you all night, Howard.

Your ego voice was reverberating through the atmosphere like a comet splashing red.

 You are acting like a victim of the old habit of listening to your ego instead of your heart.

So far, you have been diligent in your work to raise and change your consciousness.

Your ego is rebelling because it is losing control, which the ego never wants to do.

As you know, the ego’s job has always been to keep you safe.

It has no access to your future vision.

Anytime it senses a change, it becomes louder to prevent the switch from happening.

It goes into the old filing drawers where your memories are stored and looks for and brings forward emotions, pictures, and language to support the notion you are unsafe in what you are doing.

You have the dedication to create a new consciousness. The ego sounds so sure that it shakes your confidence.

Say, No, in a gentle way.

Remember, never fight with your ego.

When the dialogue starts in the night, which is one of your vulnerable times, I suggest you get up, sit quietly, and thank your ego for all it has done.

It has guided you through lots of rough patches in your lifetime.

Then tell your ego you don’t need it at the moment.

Send it to its room as you would a naughty child. Let it know you are ok.

Remind your ego of your appreciation for its role in keeping you safe all these years.

When you take control, it will take you out of your victim role and put you back in your heart.

Now, refocus on why you are doing what you are doing.

When your why is foremost in your mind, you cannot lose your way

Redirect your attention to your life intention and your passion and purpose.

Then go back to bed and rest easy for the balance of the night.

When you arise in the morning, go into your day with a plan to get something done, you know, will move your project forward.

Positive activity in the direction you want to go helps your energy.

Got it?”

“You bet. 

The ego comes back at night when I’m most vulnerable.

If I followed it today, I would get depressed and maybe quit what I am doing.

I’m not doing that!

Thanks, Joshua.”

Namaste